The Horse & the Spider
by TurkeySM
Summary: They had always been together, spending their days in contentment as life passed them by. Now bound to the Shadow Isles as a beautiful spider woman and a spectral centaur, they still take the time to enjoy the small moments undeath has to offer. From having tea parties to pelting Thresh with chicken, who's to say the good times must end with life's demise?
1. Tea Time

"Would you like more tea, Hecarim?"

"I must decline. Your mortal drink holds no flavor, Elise."

"That's because you lack taste buds, dear. You're an undead centaur, remember?"

"Hrmm."

The towering, armored specter known as Hecarim grumbled to himself as he put his teacup onto the table. It took all of his effort not to break the fragile porcelain, his massive, armored hand moving much more fluidly once he let go of the cup. Looking down, the tea he had "drunk" dripped down the interior of the armor that made up his body. Not having a throat or insides to keep in the liquid also seemed to be obstacles that prevented the ghostly horseman from participating in tea time. Still, his host graciously did not mind his inability to enjoy her probably well-prepared beverage. He looked across the table at Elise.

"I must ask again. Why did you invite me to this…tea party?"

"I simply desired your company. We used to always enjoy these quiet moments during our more…ordinary days. Do you not remember?"

"…No."

"Hmm, that is a shame."

Elise sipped her tea as her guest remained silent. Behind the cover of her teacup, her lips formed a slight frown. He was always like this when she tried to bring up old memories. Memories from the days when she wasn't—she looked at the spider limbs resting against the back of her chair—what she was now. Still, she couldn't complain. He was here now. Might as well enjoy his companionship however she could. Her frown turned into a small smile as she placed her now empty teacup back onto the table.

"It is regrettable you cannot enjoy the tea, Hecarim. This Ionian blend is rather difficult to obtain. It was fortunate one of my follower's kin sought to send him a box as a present after he declared he was going on his…pilgrimage. Perhaps I shouldn't have fed him to Vilemaw so quickly; I might have been able to procure some more."

"I apologize, Spider Qu—"

"Remember, dear, you may call me Elise. You were doing so well just a minute ago."

"As you wish."

"As you wish, who?"

"As you wish, Elise."

"There we go, my dear Hecarim. And no need to apologize; it is not your fault you are put together the way you are. Well, at least not intentionally."

"My armor grants me the strength to mow down the Isle's enemies. It inspires terror in the wake of my onslaught! It is suited perfectly for me."

"But you cannot drink tea."

"…No, I cannot."

"Then I must question the perfection of its design. Destroying the enemies of the Shadow Isles is all well and good, but one should be able to partake in the quieter, simpler moments of undeath."

"If you say so, Elise. I still feel my physical form is perfect though."

Elise sighed a small sigh as she drummed her red and black fingers on the table. He could be so stubborn at times. She slowed the tempo of her pointed digits as she watched him gingerly pick up the teapot and offer to refill her cup. Her lips slowly formed a gentle smile. Still, he could also be rather sweet. Perhaps some parts of him from his living days had yet to disappear into the madness that was his single-minded lust for war. She giggled quietly as she realized the fact he was here was a testament to that notion.

"Thank you, Hecarim. Even though I should be the one refilling the teacups seeing as how I am your host, I gladly accept your kind offer."

The spectral centaur nodded and proceeded to pour the aromatic drink into her cup. The way his arms were slightly shaking as he did his best to avoid crushing the teapot in his armored grip was both comical and endearing.

"I exist to serve the Shadow Isles. As you are an exalted member of the Isles Spider—"

She narrowed her eyes.

"—er, Elise, it is part of my duty to serve you. Even in this small way."

Hecarim almost sighed a sigh of relief as his host simply nodded and took another sip from her teacup. For all of his might and standing in the armies of the Shadow Isles, the woman before him easily controlled his words and actions. She wasn't even part of the Isles' military force, only a deceiving priestess feeding off the lives of the living. He wasn't sure why she held so much power over him. And yet, the words he just told her were not entirely true. Even if she was but another ghoul or spirit wandering the realm of the living dead, he would do what he could to comply with her desires. He felt…compelled to.

"How are the soldiers? I hear the last Harrowing was rather successful."

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her with some surprise. She usually tried to avoid talking about "work matters" during these little visits and often urged him to do the same. The sudden interest disturbed him, but not enough to prevent him from talking. He was not one to hold back when speaking about the glories of war. Especially when he was involved.

"The soldiers are in excellent shape. Their rampage across the Grey Harbor was a perfect execution of the Isle's power. Not a soul remains in that port of Bilgewater to this day.

He took a moment to let out a ghastly yet mirthful laugh.

"I can remember the screams of the cowards as they were trampled underfoot! None could stand against me!"

His laughter eventually died down, leaving nothing but a grim smile on his face.

"Still, I must admit that some of them put up a fight. They were fools to try opposing me, but I can appreciate their show of desperate strength."

"It certainly helps that some of those "fools" are now part of your host."

"Er, yes…the Shadow Isles is always ready to take in the strength of the living and add it to its might."

Elise leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table as she rested her chin on the back of her now folded hands. She stared intently at her guest.

"I'm glad to hear you've been doing well, dear. But…"

"But?"

"One of my children" —she glanced at a spiderling that scurried beneath Hecarim's legs— "tells me you brought Thresh with you that night."

"Yes, I thought he might have been of use to my forces. He had also recently recovered from an encounter with the Purifiers and wanted to torment the souls of the living to, uh, 'make up for lost time' as he put it. So I offered him a chance to fulfill his wish."

"I see."

Hecarim nervously shifted one of his hind legs as Elise held him under her gaze. He knew she wasn't very fond of the Chain Warden, though he didn't exactly know why.

"There…there is no problem in him having gone, right?"

Elise made a mischievous smile which she partially hid as she moved her tented hands in front of her mouth.

"No, not at all. It's just…you invited him to go with you and not me."

"I, uh, thought you were occupied with your followers in Noxus. I did not wish to disturb you."

"How thoughtful. Did you enjoy the warden's company? I know you do not usually spend your work time with those who are not of your spectral host."

Hecarim's uneasiness grew as he felt he needed to answer the Spider Quee—Elise's—question carefully. She never was an open book when it came to moments like these. Actually, she was never an open book in general.

"The Chain Warden had his fill that night…but he may have been overzealous in taking the souls of our foes for himself. A few more warriors might have been added to our ranks if not for his actions."

Elise's smile stretched itself at the horseman's words.

"So you would have preferred my company over his?"

"I…suppose your venom and silk would have led to more efficient slaughter than the warden's scythe. He, uh, takes too much time with each kill."

Elise straightened up in her seat, her smile now visible to her guest. Hecarim shifted in place again.

"I'm pleased to hear that. It's good to know you enjoy my company over that…petty ghost's."

Hecarim paused before speaking up hurriedly.

"I actually would prefer that you not be with me on the battlefield."

Elise's smile completely vanished and her eyes narrowed into a venomous glare.

"Would you care to elaborate on that statement?"

As tall and proud and fearsome Hecarim might be, he could do little but wither under his host's silent fury. He mustered his strength to quickly explain himself.

"I seek the battlefield and the thundering of war as it is my unlife's purpose, but in the end it is my work. My time with you is pleasure, and thus I wish to keep it separate from my duty."

Elise's face remained impassive, but all the tension beneath her silky skin dissipated as the horseman's words diffused her anger. A warmth she very rarely felt filled her being, and she stood up from her chair. She slowly strolled towards Hecarim, and she almost licked her lips as he bowed his head down. She could practically eat the nervous vibes radiating from his being, but after some thought, chose to end her angry charade. She stood still in front of him and put a hand beneath his chin. Her fingers prompted him to look up at her and she presented him with a gentle and almost kind smile. Her hand moved to his face, and she stroked his metal cheek as he stared at her confusedly.

"I'm pleased to hear you say that."

The warhorse's shoulders fell as the ghostly energies beneath his armor relaxed. Knowing he had dodged a bullet, or in this case a face-full of neurotoxin, he chose to change the subject. The spectral wisps that served as his "eyes" looked around. He took note of their peculiar surroundings.

"Not to question your choice in location, Elise, but why are we in the middle of the forest for our…tea party?"

"You don't enjoy the fresh air, Hecarim? Would you prefer to drink your tea in the caverns with Vilemaw as your company?"

"…No."

Elise let out a soft but sinister laugh as she reached for one of the pastries on the table. She brushed away some loose crumbs and offered it to her guest.

"Biscuit?"


	2. Flower Time

"Carry me."

"…?"

Hecarim looked at Elise quizzically. The two Shadow Isles denizens were standing on a dark, grainy beach. Hecarim had just returned to the Isles after a quick raid on a Demacian merchant fleet. After reporting to the higher ups, he barely had a moment to himself before a spiderling dropped on his face, the large arachnid holding a message in its mandibles that revealed his presence was required by an even larger arachnid…woman. He made haste to Vilemaw's caverns before another spiderling descended on his shoulder, giving him another note before crawling on top of his head to join its now resting sibling. The scrap of parchment told him to meet the Spider Queen on the eastern beaches. And now he stood before her, not entirely sure what she wished of him.

"The boat I normally take to the mainland departed earlier than usual."

"That is unfortunate Spider Quee—"

Red eyes narrowed.

"—Elise."

The red and black haired woman relaxed her gaze and looked off at the ocean.

"Yes, it truly is unfortunate. I think I'll have to have a word with Yorick later. You did say he was recently put in charge of the ships."

Hecarim felt dread and worry for his morbid friend. He had a feeling that webs would be appearing all over the undead ferryman's home in the near future. And they wouldn't be going away no matter what the poor ghoul did.

"Anyway, I need to meet with my Noxian congregation in three days' time, and the next boat will not be ready until tomorrow."

Elise looked at her spectral companion, focusing particularly on the ghastly blue flames emanating from the joints in the undead centaur's armor. Most of the Shadow Isle's armies marched abroad using the power of the Black Mist, but she knew that Hecarim's ghostly flames allowed him to cross the seas whenever he wished. She snapped her fingers and the two spiderlings sleeping on the centaur's helm awoke and crawled down his armor; they scattered away towards the caverns as their mistress took a few steps closer to the warhorse. She placed a hand on his shoulder and slid her fingers down his arm. He looked at her, his body giving off a slightly awkward vibe.

"I require your assistance, Hecarim. You have the power to run over the waters, and because of such I believe only you can bring me to Noxus in time."

Always eager to aid his companion, the undead centaur bowed his head while crossing his free arm over his chest.

"I exist to serve you…Elise."

"Thank you, dear. Your willingness to help is always appreciated."

Hecarim then lowered his body to the ground and looked at the Spider Queen. He was about to gesture for her to place herself onto his back before noticing that she had a slight smirk on her face. One of her eyebrows was raised as she slightly tilted her head in mock confusion.

"What **are** you doing, Hecarim?"

The warhorse was rather confused.

"I, uh…did you not wish for me to carry you across the sea?"

"I do, my dear. When I said 'carry me', I meant…"

She pointed an elegant hand at the spectral centaur's armored gauntlets.

"…for you to carry me in your arms."

If Hecarim could raise an eyebrow, he would. Unfortunately, he did not have eyebrows, so he was forced to voice his befuddlement instead.

"I do not understand. Would it not be easier for you to relax during the ride on my back?"

"Thank you for your concern. But that is not what's important. How else am I going to see your face for the whole trip?"

Hecarim stared at her, saying nothing. One could call his face deadpan. One could also describe it as slightly blushing. Well, as much as an undead, armored centaur could blush anyway.

"I…uh...how will I hold onto my glaive?"

"Surely you do not think I'm so large that I'll take up more than one of your arms?"

For a moment, he thought of her increased size in her spider form, but chose not to comment. He didn't want his home to be covered in webs too.

"…Keep your body close and hold tight."

"I don't intend to do anything else."

With that, he held his weapon in his right hand while he gently picked up his passenger with his left. After making sure she was secure, he began to trot onto the ocean's surface, his ghostly flames keeping him above the water.

"You have nothing with you, Elise. Do you require me to carry anything else for you?"

"Everything I need is already in Noxus. Thank you for the offer though."

Hecarim looked down and saw the spider woman smiling gently at him. She raised an arm and stroked his metal cheek. He became silent and began to run. After a few minutes, the Isles began to shrink into the distance as they raced across the open waters. Elise looked up at her companion.

"Hecarim, dear?"

The warhorse looked down at her, an expectant look on his face.

"You are…fast, yes?"

"I am the swiftest being through all the Shadow Isles. I would think I am fast."

His pace began to quicken.

"Hrmm…nay, my speed is without compare. In all my time in Valoran and the surrounding islands, none have escaped my grasp when I have been charged to run them down!"

He began to laugh viciously as old memories came to his mind. Elise could feel the ghostly energies beneath his armor tremble as his laughter boomed across the surface of the ocean. It was strangely comforting. The old Hecarim may not have laughed like this in life, but at the very least his laughter now was proof that he still had some life in him…figuratively speaking of course. She smiled and let the force of his laughter wash over her body.

"Show me your speed then, Hecarim."

He was more than happy to oblige.

"As you wish."

His run became a gallop, the water's surface strangely still as the spectral warhorse blazed towards the eastern coast of Valoran. Elise's smile became a little sly. At this rate, they would arrive well before three days' time. And if she finished her business early, then she would have time to spare for "that".

* * *

><p>True to her prediction, the two Shadow Isles denizens arrived on the coast bordering Noxus two days early. They snuck into a small cave near the port Elise usually landed at, the spider woman not wanting the locals to panic at Hecarim's presence. Once they were out of sight, the undead horseman gently placed his passenger onto the ground before standing up straight. He almost stretched his limbs before remembering he didn't have joints. Elise stood up straight as well before retracting her spidery appendages into her back. After a second of concentration, her "clothes" weaved themselves into a form-fitting outfit that looked one part dress and another part robe. As her crown of sorts vanished from her head, Hecarim took note of her now uncovered hair. A strand fell loose from its now-disappeared confines and rested on the spider woman's forehead.<p>

"You look…nice, Elise."

"Only nice? Oh, Hecarim, you always were terrible at complimenting those of the opposite sex."

The spider woman made a teasing smirk while her companion struggle to think of a better compliment. Before he could say a word, she silenced him with a finger on his "lips".

"Even if you're terrible at making compliments, I'm grateful regardless. Now I'll be back by tomorrow. Rushing my followers to arrive a few days early may not be the best idea, but there is something I simply must do afterwards."

Hecarim remained quiet and nodded his head.

"Now be a good little terror and rampage across the countryside **away** from Noxus. I don't need some of my people failing to show up because an undead centaur scared them away."

Said undead centaur sheepishly scratched the back of his head even though he didn't have skin that could itch in the first place.

"As you wish, Elise."

"Good. Now be here tomorrow afternoon around…4pm; that would be the best time. Break into someone's home or shop if you need to find a clock."

Hecarim nodded once more as the spider priestess made ready to leave to her congregation. Once she was at the entrance of the cave, she turned her head and looked at him one last time.

"Thank you again, Hecarim, for your help. You're the best horse a spider could ask for."

And with that she departed, leaving a lone horse smiling to himself.

* * *

><p>Hecarim was bored and frowning by the fifth village he razed to the ground. There were few guards or soldiers to fight, and these independent villages had little organization to set up a defense against his charge.<p>

"I just wanted to see the flowe—"

The warhorse caught the head of a tourist which he had just sent flying with a swing of his glaive a moment before. It seemed some of the people in the villages were visitors on their way to see some floral…spectacle. Whatever their business was, it mattered not to him. All he knew was that there was no one alive for miles now and he was still bored. He looked towards the distance where Noxus could be seen and wondered how Elise's work was going.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean, he's deceased?!"<p>

"I'm so sorry most high priestess! A terrible monster from the Shadow Isles killed him a week ago. We have been investigating the matter ever since."

Elise pursed her lips slightly before making a deep frown. It seemed something, some**one** was taking her quarry, and she didn't like it one bit. Especially if that someone was one of her neighbors. Part of her thought of her precious companion running down the poor soul while laughing savagely, but then she remembered Hecarim's last few missions had been sea raids and thus he couldn't have killed her follower. She looked up and saw that those of her congregation who were present appeared a bit nervous at her unusual temper. She took a moment to calm and compose herself. She resumed her regal air and made a graceful smile.

"It is most sorrowful that one of our own, one of the chosen, has been struck down before he could make the pilgrimage. May we remember him fondly and pray that he lives well in the great web of the afterlife. He was a good—"

As her followers nodded in unison to her words, the door near the back of the room slammed open, interrupting the spider priestess's eulogy. As her followers looked at the source of the interruption, she was tempted to fling an explosive spiderling at the person disturbing her moment. But seeing as how that would make her followers flee in terror, she held back. It was hard to find good, easily brainwashed people after all.

"I have news most high priestess! We have identified the culprit who stole our brother's life!"

Elise narrowed her eyes just a centimeter as she mentally went through a list of Shadow Isles denizens to potentially punish and take revenge on.

"Tell us, tell us everything you know."

"Of course, most high priestess. It was a terrible specter, bathed in a green light."

Elise felt her heartbeat slow down for an instant. Surely, it couldn't have been her dearest—wait. Hecarim's ghostly fire was mainly blue with a green tint. That left…

"And it had a lantern and a sickle that reaped our brother's soul!"

Thresh. Oh, she couldn't wait to get her limbs on his skull and break it with her mandibles. If Hecarim had killed the poor fool, then it would have been an accident due to the warhorse's overzealous nature. But Thresh...he **knew** she was protective of her cult, and she had told him many times that her followers existed for **her** to live off of, not him. She had no idea why Hecarim thought that fool of a jailer made for good company. That wretch was so selfish, so unnecessarily cruel and twisted—why she ought to have Vilemaw eat him and then spit him out onto a boat travelling to the Purifiers' headquarters for this slight.

"Most high priestess, most high priestess!"

Elise snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her gasping and murmuring followers. They were staring at her, wondering what to do.

"Fear not, my people! I will contact the greatest hunters Valoran has to offer and see to it that they destroy this vile beast. Your brother shall be avenged!"

As her followers cheered and manically roared for vengeance, she rubbed her temples and let out a deep sigh. She felt a migraine coming on. Oh, Thresh would be hunted down alright…

* * *

><p>Hecarim giddily ran towards the cave where he and Elise were supposed to meet. In the last few hours, he had managed to find some amusement letting a few mounted soldiers chase him through the countryside. Before long, his pursuers watched in horror as their horses dropped dead from the inevitable exhaustion. As the horse lord crushed the heads of the screaming soldiers, he saw a shiny object fly out of one of their pockets. He then looked at the ground and saw that the object was a pocket watch. It had an unfamiliar flower pattern on it…some sort of lily perhaps? He ripped the watch free from the soldier's corpse, and after carefully opening it, he kept it in his hand to count down how much longer he needed to wait. Looking back at the brief memory, the warhorse laughed to himself as he continued to run. Once he reached the cave, he pranced around the entrance in a circle.<p>

"Another blue ribbon for Hecarim!"

"That's a watch, dear."

Startled by the rather tired sounding voice, Hecarim looked into the cave and saw Elise sitting on a rock, her red eyes staring venomously at the wall opposite of her. Her glare diminished as she looked up at him, his gleeful energy soothing her fury.

"…Er, rough day?"

"The roughest, Hecarim. Only half the congregation showed up, Thresh has apparently been reaping my followers, and the supposedly luxurious inn I was staying at ran out of bath salts."

Hecarim looked at his companion and felt displeasure at the things that troubled her.

"Fear not, Elise. I can do nothing about your followers' attendance, but I will trample the inn into the ground and drag Thresh through the dirt around the Isles for days on end!"

Elise smiled and giggled slightly at the warhorse's flared temper.

"Thank you, Hecarim, but that won't be necessary. It was my fault many of my followers were missing, and destroying the inn might scare possible neophytes away. As for Thresh…the fool would probably enjoy being scraped against the ground. He'd call it a massage, the masochistic cretin."

She looked at Hecarim and her face softened. The spectral centaur rubbed his hind legs against the floor as he calmed down.

"Well, we can work out some sort of punishment for Thresh later. To be honest, I'm a bit surprised you are willing to harm one of your friends."

"A friend he may be, Elise, but your happiness always comes first. If he interferes in that matter, I will not hesitate to smash his skull into the dirt."

Elise's cold heart warmed significantly at her companion's words, and she felt her face flush.

"Thank you, my dear Hecarim. For a shadow of war, you are surprisingly sweet at times."

Well, not so surprising considering who he used to be…

"I will be anything, even…sweet, in my service to you."

They both smiled at each other for a moment before Hecarim recalled something the spider woman had mentioned the previous day.

"Elise, you said yesterday there was something you had to do after your work was done."

Surprise graced Elise's face as she didn't expect the warhorse to remember such offhand words. She looked outside.

"There's a flower viewing festival just south of here. A grove of flower-bearing trees blooms at the edge of the Great Barrier this time of year, and I was hoping to see the petals as they opened."

She let out a heavy sigh as her shoulders sagged down.

"But to be honest, Hecarim, I am simply far too exhausted to go now. I just want to go home and take a real bath."

She looked at the spectral centaur and let out a soft laugh.

"Of course, I wanted you to come with me. We'd hide you, somehow…or just have you scare away everyone else."

Hecarim briefly laughed at the thought before quieting down. Elise gazed back outside, and from behind she looked rather dejected. The warhorse stared at his melancholy companion as he put two and two together. So the "spectacle" the dying tourists had mentioned must have been referring to this festival. He paused for a second before looking at his left hand. The pocket watch he picked up from earlier did have a floral pattern on it…

"Here, Elise, take this."

The spider woman looked over at her companion and saw him offer a closed hand. She opened her right hand in response and he pressed the watch into her palm. She looked at the watch and felt her fatigue wash away as a much warmer feeling took hold of her heart. A pattern of spider lilies decorated the cover of the watch. She looked up at Hecarim and stood up. He remained still, patiently waiting to see her reaction to his gift. His patience soon turned to curiosity as she began to walk towards him, her steps soon slowing to a halt when she was standing right in front of him. Before he knew what happened, she leaned forward and planted her lips on his cheek, causing him to freeze in place. After a second, she drew back and ran her fingers against his other cheek. She smiled tenderly, her red eyes softly glistening.

"You really are the best horse a spider could ask for."


	3. Bingo Time

"Goldfish!"

"Hecarim, dear, this is Bingo."

"What?!"

The undead centaur looked at his spidery companion in disbelief as a few passing ghouls shook their heads at him disappointingly. Noticing their stares, he turned towards them and shook his fist threateningly. They scattered away, cackling and screeching as they left the room. Hecarim sighed and looked at his Bingo card. He had somehow stamped a fish-shaped…thing onto the card. Unfortunately for him, animal shapes were not the requirement needed to win a game of Bingo.

"I-47!"

"Ah, Bingo."

"What?!"

Elise patted her companion on the shoulder as she waved a win-checker over.

"Do not fret, my dear. It is only a matter of time before you win one."

"That's what you said the last five times."

The spider woman looked at the warhorse and almost laughed at the pout sitting on his face. Not wanting to upset him any further, she settled on making an amused smile instead. While she soothed her companion, a large, lumbering ghoul walked up to their table and cleared his throat. In case that didn't catch their attention, he also tapped the ground with the shovel he was holding.

"If you win, Elise, that'll be the fourth time in a row."

"Perhaps fortune is simply favoring me this day, Yorick."

"It sure isn't favoring me."

"Hush, Hecarim, everything will be alright."

"Hrmgrmmm…"

Yorick inspected Elise's Bingo card before turning to the rest of the tables and announcing that the spider priestess had won again. Multiple groans and exasperated sighs could be heard throughout the room as the other participants cursed their poor luck. A pair of zombies near the back packed up their things and left in a huff.

"Elise, are you sure you aren't—"

"Aren't doing…what?"

"Uh, well, it's just that four times in a row is a bit much."

Elise narrowed her eyes at the awkwardly still gravedigger.

"O-of course, you could just be lucky."

"Indeed."

When Yorick did not leave, apparently still wondering if he should pursue the matter further, the Spider Queen placed a hand on the table, drumming her fingers against the hard surface. She nonchalantly reached out with her other hand and began to climb it up the gravedigger's now paralyzed face, each finger acting like a spider's leg. Hecarim began stamping the table with his Bingo stamper.

"You know, Yorick, I hear that your home was recently covered in webs."

"…It is true. I'm…not sure why."

"I have also heard that you are having…issues removing said webbing."

Elise felt the gravedigger grit his teeth in nervous frustration. A sinister smile slowly appeared on her face.

"Perhaps the webs might, ah, go away if you leave the spiders alone. You know how…sensitive they can be."

Yorick felt whatever irritation he was enduring transform into wishful dread at the spider woman's words. She was still upset at his mistake with the boat schedules, and by the Ruined King's blade she could hold a grudge! He wasn't sure if she was actually cheating or not, and if she was he had no idea how she was doing so. In any case, if leaving her alone here led to the webs in his home disappearing, then who was he to pursue Bingo justice? He was tired of eating webbed food while reading a webbed book at his webbed dining table.

"I, uh, think I can leave yo—those bugs alone."

The gravedigger shifted his eyes and backed away from the table and Elise's touch. A flash of irritation crossed the spider woman's face at his small jab, but she chose not to press the matter.

"I better…check on the other participants. I'll have someone bring you your prize."

And with that, he hobbled away, moving as fast as he could. Elise smirked at his retreat as she leaned back against her chair.

"An excellent idea, Master Ferryman. An excellent idea indeed."

The now satisfied spider woman looked over at her equine companion and saw that he had expended all of his stamper's ink, his side of the table now sporting a glossy, albeit rather spotty, coat of red. Part of her wanted to chide him for his antics, but then she remembered he wasn't her child. Speaking of children, she remembered that she would have to direct her spiderlings to take leave of Mr. Mori's home. It was a shame; they oddly liked sleeping in his rafters.

"Are we done yet, Elise? As much as I enjoy helping a friend, losing at Bingo gets tiring the tenth time."

"Patience, Hecarim. But if you insist, we can leave as soon as the nice spirit over there brings me our prize."

"…Our?"

Elise made a smile that was somehow both gentle and malevolent. Hecarim always had little success when it came to luck-based games, and without fail he would become a little…morose. Not wanting to see him feeling down, she had fortunately been able to "encourage" the game to favor her Bingo card on the fly. Now that everything was done, not only could she savor the fruits of her manipulations, her beloved companion was also able to partake in her fortunes.

"But of course, my dear. My victories are your victories, and thus my spoils are yours as well."

"I thank you for your generosity, Elise, but a true warrior must win his own battles. I am a shame to the Isles if I cannot earn my victories!"

"Hecarim, dear, this is Bingo, not war."

"…Then I have won four times in a row!"

"That's the spirit. Now be a good warhorse and carry that strange Ionian instrument, those clothes, that demon shaped mask, and Thresh's lantern while I take this…"

She accepted a large, metal helmet from the spirit holding it out to her. After thanking the departing shade, she looked at her prize. Up close, it appeared to have multiple holes perforating its surface, perhaps for breathing and seeing. However, with how the holes were positioned, it seemed they were there more for decoration than practicality. The rams' horns on the sides added to that sentiment. Still, judging by the helmet's size, it would be a perfect fit for Hecarim's body.

"You said Yorick's office was on the second floor, yes?

"It is."

"Then let us be off. We can leave our spoils there and then, hmm, take a stroll around the mausoleum's grounds?"

"It would be my pleasure to escort you."

"Thank you, my dear."

The two thus departed from the still hectic Bingo hall, one content with her successes, the other pleased to simply leave. As they walked towards the staircase that granted access to the second floor of the building, Hecarim looked at the prizes they had won.

"I still have no idea where Yorick obtained these items. Well, I think I recall him winning Thresh's lantern from a bet, but the rest remain a mystery to me."

"He told me at the gate that he had 'liberated' most of the prizes from the castle's treasure room."

"What?! Does the king know of Yorick's treach—"

"Relax, my dear, the king donated those items as he had little use for them. If anything, you are receiving the spoils of your victories in battle. I recognize quite a few of these gems as cargo from the merchant fleets you have been raiding recently."

The warhorse looked at his companion and then at what he was holding again.

"How do you know this, Elise? I do not remember any of these objects from my past missions."

"Do not forget, my dear, I have eyes everywhere. All the spiders you do not see keep you and everything else on this island within my vision. Also, do not forget that while you are busy slaughtering the sailors, the scavenger ghouls take home the treasures of your success."

Hecarim almost felt like blushing in embarrassment from his poor observation skills before remembering he had neither the skin nor blood to blush in the first place.

"Slaughtering is a task that takes up, uh, much of my concentration."

"And you do a very a good job of it."

"…Thank you, Elise."

The spider woman smiled gently at his expression of gratitude. Feeling his spirits rise from her praise, the spectral horseman cast aside his embarrassment. He decided to move back to an earlier subject.

"It is interesting Yorick thought to make use of the Isle's spoils as prizes for, er, Bingo games."

"He mentioned he had seen the game in a senior center at Piltover, and he wanted to give it a try in our fair home. The prizes are incentives to bring in the, ah, general public as their participation brings him a good amount of coin."

Elise softly chuckled at the thought of her and Hecarim being considered part of the "general public". Such wasn't the case though, as Yorick had invited them to draw in more visitors. Who wouldn't want to see the Spider Queen and the Shadow of War play Bingo? Meanwhile, her companion pondered the words she had just spoken.

"How did he manage to infiltrate the center without raising a panic? Wait, how did he even get into the city?"

"They thought he was one of the residents. Somehow he managed to pass himself off as an old woman."

Hecarim roared in laughter at the thought. The things Yorick would do to see the dead and the dying in the different city-states never failed to amuse him.

"He seems to have found a less…unorthodox method to obtain access to the realm of the living."

"Really now?"

"Indeed. He is planning on working with Mordekaiser and Karthus to form a band."

"A band."

"Yes, a band. If he poses as a musician—a hunchbacked, limping one—then he can freely enter whatever city the band 'tours' through."

"I am not sure if such an idea is brilliant or completely absurd."

"Perhaps a bit of both. With the funds he raises here, he and the others should be able to depart to Demacia next month."

"The champions of the Shadow Isles prancing around the mainland as musicians. What have we come to these dark days?"

"Do not be so pessimistic, Hecarim. Be it Bingo or music, the Shadow Isles should also be known for its entertainment. We are more than a collection of twisted life and marching death."

"We are?"

"Of course not, dear, we're a deathtrap island filled with untold horror. But at the very least we are untold horror with music and Bingo."

"…As you say, Elise."

They both stopped walking, having made it to Yorick's office. Looking behind him, Hecarim had no idea how he had gotten up the stairs, but decided not to question the matter. As he and Elise deposited their prizes on the gravedigger's desk, he paused to look at Thresh's lantern.

"Uh, should we return this to Thresh?"

"Don't be silly, Hecarim. Your selflessness is duly noted, but I feel we should take advantage of this opportunity."

"Opportunity?"

"Yes, I shall ship this to the Purifiers in Demacia. Thresh will have to endure an endless barrage of light to recover his prized possession, but I am sure he will pick up a few souls by the time he is done."

Hecarim felt fearful for his friend, but knew that once Elise had her mind set on tormenting the spectral jailor, there was nothing that would stop her entertainment from playing out.

"Of course, he **is** your friend, so you are free to assist him as you wish. Paint me a picture of what happens after you are finished."

Perhaps she had some mercy in her this time.

"As you wish, Elise."

With that, they closed the door and departed. As they neared the front door of the mausoleum, Hecarim recalled something his companion had said earlier. Something about her spiders watching everything…

"Elise?"

"Yes, Hecarim?"

"When you said earlier that you see everything on the Isles, does that include—"

"There is no need to fret, my dear. What you do in your spare time is for only you to know."

The undead centaur nodded, feeling slightly relieved. If she ever knew that he sometimes mused out loud about her to himself, she'd never let him un-live it down.

"My apologies. I did not mean to doubt your actions."

Elise smiled softly at the horseman's words and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"You don't need to apologize, Hecarim. I'd be worried if one of my nearest companions was the greatest spymaster for leagues around."

Hecarim wasn't sure if she was being humorous or otherwise.

"Just know that I make sure to see you are alright. If anyone, besides myself, was disturbing you after a long day of rampaging, I wouldn't be very pleased."

The warhorse wasn't entirely sure how to react to the spider woman's words. He felt a little babied but also rather secure knowing that he had someone close watching out for him.

"I…trust you, Elise. Thank you for looking after me. I wish I was able to repay you for your vigilance."

Elise patted her companion on the cheek and gave him another gentle smile.

"Thank you for your thoughtfulness. But you don't have to worry about me. All too often you are in greater danger than I normally am. Just know that I can take care of myself and that I know you can take care of yourself. Do not see my surveillance as just a way for me to coddle you; I'm simply enjoying a few perks that come with the job. If the leaders of the Isles did not require my services, I would know less about you than I do now. In the end, I trust you as well…that you will come to me when I wish to know how you are doing."

Hecarim felt a tinge of regret at his earlier thought, but the smile on his companion's face washed away his worries. There was no need to linger on such thoughts. He opened the door and gestured an arm to the open grounds.

"I will always return to you, Elise. Now, shall we go?"

The spider woman felt her face heat up at his words. She stepped outside and took his hand. Looking back at the undead centaur, her face became a mixture of serenity, contentment, and subdued bliss.

"Let's."


	4. Festival Time

"What does she see in him?"

"I know! How could a beauty like her be with a guy dressed like…that?"

"I don't know, guys, that horse costume's pretty cool. Maybe she digs the fearsome, armored type. The type with…four legs."

Elise smirked at that last comment. Looking over at her companion, she took note that Hecarim was certainly wearing armor and he certainly looked fearsome. He also had four legs. Regardless, the passerby's comment wasn't completely accurate. She saw much more in the undead horseman beyond his chest plate and frightening aura. Feeling a bit mischievous, she took a step closer to her companion and held his arm. As she leaned against the confused centaur, she heard a few more vocal groans of jealousy in the passing distance.

"Elise, do I have to wear this thing? I miss the confines of my usual helmet."

The spider woman looked up at Hecarim and saw him fiddling with one of the horns sticking out of his helmet. The perforated head mask certainly did fit him, just as she suspected when she had won the thing from Yorick's Bingo games. Looking down slightly, it was still strange to see his body made of living flesh. Well, a facsimile of human and horse flesh anyway. LeBlanc's illusory magic certainly had its uses; she'd have to thank her Noxian friend again the next time she saw her.

"Hecarim, dear, I don't think the locals would appreciate the ghostly flames that emanate from your usual metal visage."

"Why are we here, anyway? You told me you required my aid due to an emergency."

"It **was** an emergency. I needed to visit Ionia for the Festival of Fire, and you were the only mode of transportation that could bring me here in time."

"So I'm only your horse to ride…hrmghmrh…"

"Don't be absurd, my dear. You're also my date."

"…What?"

"Why else would you have such a lovely lady on your arm this night? Look around you, Hecarim. Are we not the envy of the crowd?"

The spectral horseman complied with her command, his ghostly "eyes" peering beyond the holes in his mask. Several people were indeed staring at them, whispering amongst themselves regarding what they were seeing. He felt they were more likely just curious as to what a centaur was doing at a human festival rather than seething with jealously at the sight of such a "lovely couple". But, not wanting to receive the cold shoulder from Elise for the rest of the night, he chose to say nothing, only giving a grunt in response.

"You know, I had completely forgotten the festival was coming so soon. Actually, I never intended on visiting, but once I discovered what that mask and outfit were for…"

Elise trailed off, her mouth closing as her eyes focused on a strange, masked figure leaping in and out of the crowd. She caught a glance of two red, glowing eyes looking at her and Hecarim before the figure jumped into the nearby woods.

"Elise?"

She looked at her companion and saw him staring at her, an aura of slight concern radiating from within his helmet. She smiled.

"It's nothing, dear. I just thought I saw one of my followers. Where was I…ah, right. To think the mask and clothes we won from those Bingo games were actually ceremonial garments for this festival; once I knew, I simply had to try them on here."

That and use the opportunity to steal Hecarim for herself, but that didn't need to be said.

"Er, you look…"

Elise looked at the warhorse expectantly.

"…very nice?"

She sighed.

"We really do need to work on your complimenting skills."

She also smiled.

"But thank you, Hecarim. Your flattery is always of much value to me."

The spectral centaur tapped his hind legs against the floor, sheepishness rising through his nonexistent cheeks. He wasn't sure what to make of his companion's temporarily short silver-white hair nor did he understand why her mask was on top of her head rather than on her face, but such small details ultimately didn't matter. The way she smiled at him always reminded him of how beautiful she was.

"Now, shall we resume our little stroll around the booths?"

"As you wish."

The two Shadow Isles denizens made their way up and down the aisles of food, clothing, and wares. Elise stopped by a tea booth to purchase a small box of an Ionian blend she had been wanting to try again while Hecarim stared at a weapons stand positioned across from where they stood.

"Hey there, big guy! Like anything you see?"

The merchant manning the stand waved at Hecarim, motioning for the undead centaur to walk towards him. Hecarim looked at Elise as she finished placing her tea box into the large bag sitting on his back. She looked back at him and then at the weapons merchant who was still waving. Part of her felt like rolling her eyes at her companion's almost childish desire to investigate anything related to battle, but chose instead to give him an approving nod. He rushed off towards the merchant, the slight glee emanating from his figure filling her with a bit of laughter. She smiled amusedly.

"So, my very large and in charge friend, now that your lady friend's let you go, take a gander and pick out what you like!"

Hecarim looked up and down the racks of swords, spears, and axes before him. None of them seemed to be very special. In fact, several of them had nicks and chipped edges. If he had eyes to narrow, they would be narrowed.

"Merchant, are you sure these are everything you have? I find the state of your wares to be…disappointing."

"Ahh, a tough customer, I see! Not to fret, my equine friend—er, do you have another person down ther…er, never mind—I can show you the good stuff right over here."

The merchant waved him over to a large, long box sitting by itself at the back of the stand.

"With your centaur getup, I figure you'd be a cavalry kind of guy. Well I have the perfect weapon for you here!"

The merchant opened the box, revealing a long, black spear with a cruel white and red looking blade at the end. At a closer glance, the "spear" seemed to be more of a glaive or a cross between a lance and a halberd. Strangely, its design happened to match the warhorse's helmet and armor.

"It's…perfect."

"Haha, I knew you'd like it! You're a connoisseur, my good centaur, I can tell. The stuff in the front's just a ruse that novices always fall for. Only veterans and true practitioners of armed combat can tell what's good and what's not."

"I agree, merchant. How much?"

"Well, this is a pretty rare item. But since you've got such a good eye, I'll sell it to you for…"

* * *

><p>"Absolutely not."<p>

"But, Elise!"

"Hecarim, we don't have the money for this weapon."

"But you bought your box of tea!"

"Tea does not cost a small fortune. I run a cult, Hecarim, not a trade monopoly."

The warhorse felt like trampling the weapons merchant into the ground and running off with the spear, but ultimately chose not to after realizing he would be doing nothing more than throwing a tantrum in public. A thieving, murdering tantrum at that. Seeing that he was in the process of losing a potential sale as well as the attention of a lovely woman, the merchant waved his arms to diffuse the building tension.

"Well now, my beautiful, I know the price is rather high, but I'm already giving your friend here a discount. I can't afford to go any lower…unless…"

Elise felt a wave of disgust and revulsion wash over her as she immediately picked up on what the merchant wanted. As seductively as she was dressed, her beauty and glamour were meant to attract the attention of her dear companion alone. And perhaps potential acolytes, but today was a day off, so there was no need for that. Still, she didn't want the night to end with Hecarim unhappy…

"Ah, I see what you wish for, merchant. I must say, with how handsome you are, how can I refuse?"

She lightly tapped Hecarim on the shoulder as she sauntered closer to the merchant. The warhorse looked at her confusedly, a brief feeling of outrage and hurt flaring up in his heart. He really wanted to trample the merchant into the ground now, but such thoughts ceased as he saw one of Elise's hands point to the booth opposite of them. Her hand suddenly balled up into a fist, her fingers clenching into her palm. He promptly understood what she wanted and dashed off, the negative emotions he was feeling vanishing quickly as he departed.

"I see your friend knows better than to interrupt the mood."

"...Indeed. But let's not waste any more words."

She let out a warm breath that washed over the merchant's face as she drew her lips close to his. She could smell his sweat and perverse desire, and it took all of her willpower not to spit a glob of neurotoxin onto his face. Just as her lips were about to touch his, she heard a large crash and several screams ring out. Feeling the merchant trying to look past her to see the commotion, she pushed him to the ground.

"Ahh, I see you **really** want what I'm selling. Come with me to my house after the festival and I'll give you a—"

"Shh…"

"Wait, what are you doin—AGGHH!"

In a flash, Elise transformed her mouth into the mandibles of a large spider. She swiftly bit the merchant's neck, injecting him with a terrible, numbing poison. As she drew away, her mouth returning to its human form, the merchant shuddered horribly as his heartbeat increased rapidly before halting to a stop. She stood up, and after noticing the merchant's prone body was hidden behind a row of axes, she took her leave, grabbing the spear on the way out.

* * *

><p>"I hope you're happy, Hecarim. I don't think we can go back into the Gardens until the commotion dies down."<p>

"B-but, you told me to—"

"I had to get you your spear, didn't I?"

"I, uh…thank you."

"Hmph."

Hecarim awkwardly stood in place, his hooves rubbing the ground as he tried to think of a way to soothe his companion's upset mood.

"I…I apologize, Elise. I didn't need the weapon. I was being selfish. I shouldn't have made you, uh, make me ruin the night for you."

The spider woman looked at the spectral centaur with a stiff frown. Or at least it appeared to be stiff on the outside. Sensing the nervous and regretful vibes Hecarim was giving off, any desire to maintain her cold shoulder melted away as her heart warmed at her companion's display of maturity. She let out a sigh and made a soft smile at the horseman. He visibly relaxed his shoulders at the sight and let out a ghostly breath of his own.

"What did you do to distract everyone?"

"I, er, 'crashed' into the potions booth. And sent everything flying. I think I saw a bit of glass sticking out of the owner's eye."

"Better than what happened to the weapons merchant."

"What did you…do…to him?"

"I gave him a little venom to put him to sleep. He'll wake up within two days' time."

Hecarim looked at Elise with a bit of surprise on his "face".

"And then he'll die violently when his heart inevitably ruptures."

That's what he was waiting to hear.

"Well, enjoy your weapon, Hecarim. It was rather unpleasant dragging it around while I had to look for you."

"I apologize…"

"No more apologies needed, my dear. I forgive you for everything. Simply make it easier for me to find you next time. Leaving a trail of destruction or corpses will do nicely."

"I can do this again?"

Purple-blue eyes narrowed. Silence followed.

* * *

><p>The two managed to sneak behind the Great Tree that was the centerpiece of the festival. While a theatrical performance dedicated to the "Blood Moon" was playing at the base of the tree, Elise and Hecarim rested at the back of the roots. They listened to the sounds of chants and dramatic cries for a fair while before Elise stood up and rummaged through the bag on Hecarim's back. After a moment, she took out a long, metal and wood koto-like instrument. While her companion looked on, she willed her spider limbs to stretch out of her back. Two of the gold and blue appendages moved in front of her and grew rigid, allowing her to place the instrument onto them and hold it in place. She pulled four strings from the base of the instrument and, reinforcing each strand with her personal silk, attached them to the other end. After tuning the strings, she strung one, a sharp but eloquent sound ringing out. Satisfied, she sat down on a nearby, protruding root and began to play.<p>

"You know, Hecarim, the weapons merchant…he called you my 'friend'."

The warhorse looked up at Elise's sudden remark, his mind still drifting to the soothing tune of the spider woman's song.

"This is…a problem?"

"It is."

Elise strung a few more strands, her pick-like fingers letting loose another stream of poignant notes. Hecarim continued to listen, the ghostly fire within flickering softly.

"A single word spoken carelessly may not seem to be an appropriate cause for distress…but every time I hear that word..."

She paused, her fingers slowing their movements. The song became still for a second.

"'Friend'"

A nail brushed a string and the song continued its course.

"…in relation to our…relationship, I cannot help but feel displeased."

Elise looked up at Hecarim, her fingers still pulling at her instrument's strings.

"You mean a great deal to me, Hecarim, more than that word can ever describe."

Her eyes became gentle as her face softened. Hecarim nodded in response. He felt his inner flame ignite for a split second before becoming calm once more, the music soothing his emotion into quiet but burning elation.

"Elise, the feeling is…mutual. Perhaps it is because I am less eloquent than you, but I feel that no word can properly capture the nature of our relationship."

The spider woman let out a blissful sigh as her song came to an end. Quiet soon settled over both of them as the noise of the nearby play also concluded. They looked at each other for a brief moment before gazing up at the fading moon. In the corner of her eye, Elise noticed a scroll hanging from one of the Great Tree's branches.

"You know, Hecarim, the Ionians write their worries and fears on scrolls that are meant to be burned away on this tree."

"…Wouldn't that cause a forest fire?"

"They use a magical fire, dear. The point of the ceremony is that as the scrolls are burned, the woes and concerns of the participants are burned away as well. Symbolically of course."

Hecarim looked at the tree with a bit of bemusement on his face.

"Strange…"

"Perhaps. To tell you the truth, I was thinking earlier that we should write down what worries us and attach our own scrolls to the tree. But…"

"But?"

She looked at her companion and smiled gently.

"I think doing so would be unnecessary. At this point, I have nothing to worry about."


	5. The First Meeting

The major was on his way to see his friend. Having been busy at the front lines for some time, he had just arrived home and was prepared to relax for a few weeks. Hearing that the major had come home, the major's friend, a lesser noble, had invited him over for afternoon tea. And so, the major was fiddling with his pocket watch as the horse-drawn carriage he had rented took him and his family up the road to his friend's manor. They were soon at the gates.

"Ah, my friend! How good it is to see you!"

"Indeed! It has been far too long. Come, tell me what has been going on while I've been away."

"Yes, yes, of course! Right this way…"

As the major and his family exited the carriage, they followed their host down a hall or two into the manor's gardens. The major and his wife took their seats at the tea table just as their host's servants arrived with two pots of tea and several plates laden with scones and other baked delicacies. The major looked around when he realized his son was not present.

"=======! I say, boy, where are you?"

"I-I'm over here father…"

The major looked back towards the room they had entered the gardens from and saw his son peeking his face from behind the door.

"Now what are you doing back there?"

"There's…there's a…"

The small boy pointed one of his small hands at a small spider that was scurrying across the floor. The creature's presence was apparently preventing him from entering the gardens. The major let out a heavy sigh.

"Now =======, you needn't be afraid of such a small critter. Come on out; you don't want to be rude to our good hosts."

The major's son let out a big gulp. Not wanting to disappoint his father in the company of his friend, he took a few steps back and ran forward. Just as his feet reached the spider, he leaped, his legs twitching as he glanced at the still scurrying arachnid. The moment he landed, he slowed his pace to a halt and briskly walked to his seat at the table.

"There we go =======, that's the spirit. Though it would have been easier to simply squash the thing…"

The small boy looked down at his hands, feeling half pleased and half disappointed at his father's words.

"Sir. Our good guests. Tea is served."

"Thank you, Weatherby. Please, my friends! Drink and enjoy!"

The noble and his guests picked up their teacups and sipped daintily.

"I say, old chap, the tea here is so much better than the slop I have to drink at the front."

"Why thank you, my good major. We have been doing our best to perfect whatever we serve to our guests. I believe this is a rare blend that originates from the Kumungu jungle."

"The Kumungu you say! You certainly have bold tastes procuring such an exotic blend."

"Haha, indeed! It cost me a small fortune to obtain a crate of the leaves, but the flavor and aroma certainly make every gold coin worth it. Now, tell me how things are at the front. How are the men?"

As the two men chatted about soldiers and tales of dangerous valor, the major's son twiddled his thumbs as he looked up at the clouds. Crumbs from the scone he was munching on started to fall onto his pants, and his mother took a moment to wipe his mouth before resuming her conversation with the noble's wife. As the small boy gazed at the sky, he noticed that one of the clouds looked a bit like a—

"—horse; the way your son jumps reminds me of a horse leaping. The lad has strong legs!"

"Ohoho, ======= has always been vaulting around the fields near the house. I believe the exercise will have done him some good when he enters the academy."

"Ah, I see, the son following in his father's foosteps!"

The noble looked over at the major's son.

"Good for you, lad! I trust you'll be a top rate soldier. You'll be an asset to the army for sure!"

The small boy nodded his head while swallowing a bite of his scone. As his mother wiped his mouth once more, he felt something else besides the scone fall into the pit of his stomach. He tapped his ankles together.

"Thank you, sir…"

"So polite; what a good son you have, my friend."

"Thank you. Hmm, I say, didn't you have a lovely daughter of your own?"

"Quite right! I must apologize for her current absence. She was having some issues with her dress and should be down short—"

"I'm here father, mother."

"Ah, there you are Elise. Say hello to our guests."

Elise, the noble's young daughter, nodded at her father's request and curtsied in front of everyone present. She felt the fabric holding together the tear in the back of her white dress stretching slightly as she bent forward. She quickly straightened her posture to avoid further damage.

"Good afternoon, major. Ma'am."

The major and his wife returned her greeting with cheery smiles, taken in by the beauty present before them. Elise looked over at the chair next to the major's wife and stared curiously at the small boy occupying the seat. The boy looked back at her and became deathly still. Their eyes locked for a moment.

"…And good afternoon…um…"

"=======, dear. This is the major's young lad."

Elise nodded at her father's words and looked at =======. She felt something warm flash through her heart as she took in the boy's innocent features. She closed her eyes and smiled.

"Good afternoon, =======."

She opened her eyes just in time to see the boy's face burst into a shade of dark pink.

* * *

><p>The major's son sat on a rock at the foot of an outdoor stairwell. He looked at the scarlet flowers in front of him and softly petted their petals. The vibrant color was rather soothing, and he felt peaceful inside.<p>

"There you are!"

The little boy leapt from his seat, startled by the voice. He looked to his right and saw the noble's daughter gazing at him from behind a nearby tree. The young girl giggled at his fright and walked swiftly towards him.

"Daddy and Mum are still talking with your parents. Adults really can talk for forever."

The major's son nodded at the girl's words. After finishing his fifth scone, his mother had excused him from the table and he quickly wandered off to look at the noble's gardens. He looked at the girl staring intently at him before turning his head. He blushed slightly. To be honest, sitting next to such a pretty girl had taken a lot out of him. More so than the scones. Now that she was but a step away from him again, his nerves took over once more. He struggled to say something.

"A-ah, yeah, they can…I think."

The little girl beamed at his response and grabbed hold of his hand. The boy's face became as red as the flowers he had been looking at, and he stumbled to his feet as his…companion dragged him towards the stairwell.

"Follow me, I can show you around the house."

"O-ok, um…"

"Elise! Don't forget my name, silly."

"Ok…Elise…"

The two children quickly made their way up the stairs and into the house. Elise showed ======= her father's study, the servant's quarters, the living room, the kitchen (======= enjoyed a biscuit), and many other rooms. ======= took in everything he saw and enjoyed his companion's explanations and light chatter. He particularly liked a painting of several running horses in one of the hallways. Eventually, the two were resting in Elise's room. ======= looked around and quickly stared at the ground, slightly blushing. He had never been in a girl's room before.

"What's the matter, =======? Why are you looking at the ground?"

"Um, my mother told me it's not polite to be in a girl's room."

"Hee hee, don't be silly! What your mother doesn't know won't hurt her. By the way, you have a spider crawling on your shoe."

======= reacted instantly, jumping back while shaking his foot. He lost balance along the way and fell on his back. Elise giggled at the sight and helped him to his feet. The little boy looked down and saw the spider standing still on the floor. He wasn't sure how he had managed to not see it, but that wasn't what was important at the moment. He remembered his father's words and lifted his foot. Maybe if he squashed this spider, his father would be proud of him.

"Hold on, wait!"

======= paused and looked at Elise. She knelt to the ground and scooped the spider into one of her hands. The boy shivered instinctively as he saw the arachnid crawl around the girl's fingers.

"Don't kill it. Spiders can be great friends once you get to know them."

Elise placed the spider on a windowsill and it swiftly crawled away. The little girl smiled at the departing critter.

"I used to be scared of them too. But one night, I saw a rat running around my room and I was even more scared by the hideous thing. I was hiding under my sheets when the biggest spider I had ever seen dashed out from under my dresser and killed it. It dragged the rat away, and I haven't been able to find that spider ever since."

======= stared at her, his face paling as he imagined a spider the size of a rat darting in and out of the dark corners in his room back home. He shuddered at the thought.

"Anyway, I learned that spiders were amazing from that night onward, and to this day I do my best to make sure the servants and my parents kill as few of them as possible."

The little girl flashed a smile at her companion, and for a split second, the little boy saw a spider's mandibles where her mouth should be. Perhaps he was simply thinking of that giant spider too much…

"So, what made you want to kill one of my friends?"

"Agh, I'm really sorry…I didn't mean to…"

"Hee hee, it's ok, I'm just teasing you. I understand that most people don't see spiders the way I do."

======= let out a small sigh of relief at her words. Still, remembering the train of thought going through his mind when he tried to step on the spider, he decided to properly answer the girl's question.

"My father…wants me to be brave. He thinks doing things like squashing spiders is brave."

Elise frowned at the boy's words. A sinister thought flashed through her mind for a second before she shook it away and resumed listening to her companion.

"He wants me to be a soldier like him. But…the thing is…I don't really want to be a soldier."

"Why don't you tell him that?"

"I've tried to before. But he really insists on it. All the men in my family have been in the military, you see, and my father won't accept me going anywhere else."

Elise thought to herself as ======= stared at the floor. She noticed the frown forming on the little boy's face. Something inside her began to ache, and she felt compelled to soothe the boy's worries. But she knew she couldn't tell him simple lies to answer his dilemma. She was big enough to know that so long as he lived under his father's roof, he would be a solider no matter how much he wanted otherwise. His only other option was to run away, and in these turbulent times, stray children were conscripted into the military to help the war effort. The boy really had no options that allowed him to avoid fighting, killing, and dying…

"Fight for me."

"W-what?"

"=======, I know it's not fair, but I don't think you can avoid being a soldier."

The little boy's face became crestfallen, but he nodded his head at her words.

"I know. I've argued with my father too many times to see anything else happening. I-it's just that, I don't want to fight. I'm not strong or brave."

"Then I'll be your strength. You'll be fighting to defend our state. Your family too. If that's not enough, fight to protect me and I know you can be the strongest and bravest soldier out there."

"I-I…"

"And don't worry! I've heard my dad talk about the academy and I heard that only big boys are allowed to enter. You still have time."

"I know. I…"

======= looked at Elise and felt his spirits rise. She hadn't told him what he wanted to hear, but he was happy to know that she supported him.

"Thank you."

The young girl smiled warmly at him and took hold of his hands. As he started to blush, he hoped that his father would bring him to the noble's house again. This had been his first time here, but he already wanted to visit again. After all, he needed to get to know the girl he was going to fight for.

"I'll be the best soldier I can be! I'll be a soldier who can protect others!"


	6. Military Time

"You must be a soldier who can destroy others! And by 'others' I mean the enemy. The king has been complaining about zombies gnawing on each other, and we don't want any more of that nonsense…"

Hecarim's troops nodded as the undead general gave them their weekly drill speech. They were still and put all their efforts into listening to their commander's words, but his occasional mumbling and trailing off made their task a little difficult. One of the men almost checked his wristwatch before remembering he didn't have one. Another ghoul scratched his bottom. A third wraith glared at the two distracted soldiers before looking back at her general. She gazed at the pacing, gesticulating horse lord…

"All that matters is trampling the enemy into the ground! If you kill ten enemy soldiers, you get to kill the eleventh one for free!"

…and couldn't help but stare distractedly at the spiderlings that were dancing the can-can on his shoulders. She felt she should say something, but remembered that the last soldier who interrupted the general's speech had his head chopped off. The men, including the beheaded one, were forced to play soccer with the head for weeks. She remained silent.

"And if you see Thresh on the battlefield, the, uh, 'higher ups' have told me to announce that kicking his head off his shoulders will earn you free tickets to Pentakill's next concert."

The soldiers murmured excitedly amongst themselves at the announcement. Yorick's recent success in the Bingo business had netted him the funds to help found the Shadow Isles's first, and only, metal band. According to the people and undead who had seen the band's first concert, the music was quite good.

"Er, but sir, didn't you say we need to destroy the enemy and not our own?"

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT INTERRUPTING MY SPEECHES?"

"SIR, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL INTERRUPTION, SIR!"

"YOUR APOLOGY IS NOTED AND ACCEPTED SOLDIER, BUT TOO BAD. YOU GET TO PATROL THE BANDLE CITY COAST FOR THE NEXT MONTH."

"Yes, sir…"

The other soldiers shook their heads at their comrade's mistake. Such a punishment was too terrible to comprehend. Countless ghosts had disappeared near the yordle city only to reappear broken and murmuring mindlessly about "cute things".

"That is all, men. Dismissed!"

As the motley assortment of armored ghouls and specters filed out of the room, Hecarim let out a sigh and sagged his shoulders. Jenkins, the soldier he had just punished, was a good zombie. Unfortunately, the new recruits had to learn the consequences of disobeying military protocol. While he was considering reducing Jenkins's sentence to two weeks, he felt something light drop onto his back. He turned back his head and felt his spirits rise.

"A month at Bandle City? You truly know how to terrify your men, dear."

"It…has to be done. Discipline must be maintained. He will learn after he recovers from the inevitable trauma."

"Indeed. You delivered my battlefield proclamation?"

"Yes…Did Thresh do something again?"

"Perhaps. More importantly, you are free now, yes?"

"Er, I have to oversee some training exercises in a few minutes."

"Perfect, I was hoping to see some entertainment this evening."

Elise stroked her companion's cheek as he stood paralyzed in thought. While the horse lord thought of how to accommodate his impromptu guest, the two spiderlings that had been dancing on his shoulders crawled up their mistress's arm and vanished in a flash of webbed light.

* * *

><p>As Hecarim marched through the halls leading to the military fields, the soldiers and staff walking up and down the corridors stared at the centaur general that passed them. They had never seen the Shadow of War carry anyone on his back before, the horse lord's threats of disembowelment to those who tried to mount him ensuring that such a sight was brand new. The fact that the secretive, yet illustrious Spider Queen was the one seated on his back provided further cause to stare.<p>

"It seems you have quite a few fans, Hecarim. They appear to be struck by your appearance."

"I, er, don't think it's me…exactly. They see me fairly often."

"I see you fairly often and yet your appearance never fails to strike my heart."

"…um, uh…ah…"

As the spectral centaur failed to find words with which to respond to his companion's remark, the undead around them suddenly felt like they were interrupting a personal moment. One of the zombie secretaries giggled like a schoolgirl.

The two soon arrived at the fields, the sight of hordes and platoons of undead soldiers greeting them. The soldiers were divided into two groups which were assaulting each other furiously as men raced towards a flag planted in the middle of the field. Hecarim shook his head at what he saw. He let out a heavy sigh.

"I've told them so many times that recklessly clawing at the enemy is for mindless zombies. And no soldier of mine is a mindless zombie."

"Perhaps the flag is brain scented."

"Aghh…"

The centaur commander looked around and found the officer in charge. He trotted quickly towards the revenant shouting out directions and stamped his glaive on the ground. His presence was immediately noticed.

"General! I was wondering when you'd show up."

"And not a moment too soon."

"I must apologize, sir. Things were going perfectly until Rens insulted Bufort's mother. Then everything went straight to the hellhounds."

Hecarim sighed again and smacked his free hand against his forehead.

"I'm going to throttle those two when everything's done. To think their rivalry would cause a breakdown in discipline like this. Bufort doesn't even like his mother."

"What shall we do sir?"

"Hand me those two rocks at your feet."

As the officer confusedly placed a large rock into Hecarim's armored hand, Elise stared at the revenant, taking notice that the ghastly spirit was female. A rather pretty female too. Her thoughts paused as she felt her seat shift, her companion throwing the rock he was holding with great force towards the field. The stone hit Rens directly on the head. The ghoul collapsed. Seeing the result of the sudden strike from the other side of the field, Bufort proceeded to point and mockingly laugh at his rival before he was subsequently struck with another rock. He followed Rens's example and dropped to the ground. As both field commanders weakly looked up towards the direction the rocks had come from, they quickly froze in place when they saw their general glaring at them. They both got off the ground immediately and began to call their men off the enemy forces. After a few minutes of confused yelling and shouting, both groups were arranged in perfect formation before Hecarim's still glaring "eyes". The horse lord slowly walked towards the soldiers, a rough snort reflecting his discontent.

"Rens! Bufort! I will see you two after the exercises are done."

"Sir, yes, sir! We are very sorry for our idiocy, sir!"

"Oh, you'll be sorry alright. Now, you will do this exercise again as **professional soldiers**. I do not command a rabble of second-rate Noxian Frankensteins!"

"Sir, what's a Frankenstein?"

"Isn't Frankenstein the scientist and not the monste—"

"ENOUGH! Do things right this time or you can all join Jenkins on Bandle City patrol duty!"

The soldiers immediately prepared their formations and began the battle once more. Professionally this time. Hecarim released a deep breath and slowly made his way back to where Elise and the officer were standing. Elise, having dismounted from Hecarim's back when he had gone off to reestablish order, was talking to the officer in a sly, hushed voice. She quickly became silent when her companion was in earshot. Hecarim gave her an apologetic bow before looking up at her with a shamed face.

"I must apologize, Elise. I did not wish for you to see such a disastrous mess. Today has been terrible from the start."

The Spider Queen smiled at the now pouting warhorse. Greatly amused at the sight yet not wanting him to feel embarrassed any longer, she gently took her companion's head and pressed her forehead against his. As she looked into his "eyes", her smile closed and soothing, the horse lord visibly relaxed. The officer stared at them incredulously. She had heard about Elise from the general in the past, but never did she think the spider woman would have this kind of effect on him.

"Do not apologize, my dear. I understand that everyone—or every specter—has an off day now and then. The important thing is that everything's ok now. You are in control, and you did a wonderful job throwing those rocks at those troublemakers. I wanted to see some entertainment, and now I already have."

"You…really mean it? You liked what you saw?"

"Every moment of it. Now chin up, my dear. You need to look strong in front of your men. And Raquel here, as well."

Suddenly remembering that Raquel, the officer in charge, was present and watching his little moment with Elise, Hecarim froze in place before struggling slightly against his companion's hold. The spider woman quickly, if not a bit reluctantly, released his head and he stood up straight. He coughed and looked at Raquel with a commanding face. Whatever face he put on didn't matter though, as the officer would never look at him the same way again.

"Excuse me, Raquel. Thank you for trying to keep order while I was away. I will make sure the higher ups know of your efforts in today's report."

"Uh, thank you, sir. That's very magnanimous of you."

"Yes, well, a good general knows when to commend the efforts of his subordinates. Now, fill me in on any other details from before I arrived."

"Of course, sir. Uh, before that…may I ask you a question?"

"Yes?"

The officer stared at her general and the spider woman currently holding on to his free arm. She slightly tilted her head.

"Are you and her a, um…"

"A…what?"

"…never mind."

* * *

><p>When the exercises were finally over, Hecarim stretched the muscles in his lower back before remembering he didn't have muscles. He had just sentenced Rens and Bufort to counseling sessions with Thresh for a week and was ready to head on home. He quickly penned down the exercises' results before dismissing Raquel. Soon, only he and Elise were standing in the now quiet fields. Once he was sure there wasn't any equipment lying around, he lowered himself to the ground. As he looked up at the moon, his companion placed herself onto his back. They departed.<p>

"Elise?"

"Yes, Hecarim?"

"…Thank you again for calming me down."

"Think nothing of it, my dear. I am always here for you, as you are for me."

"But it is my duty to help you no matter what. You are kind to me of your own free will.

"Hush now, Hecarim. You **know **that regardless of your position as a servant of the Isles you are always there for me.

"…That is true."

"Indeed. Now let such worries leave your mind, dear. We have the rest of the night to enjoy."

"Mmm."

The two were silent as Hecarim walked up the road towards the military headquarters. Once inside, he quickly dropped off his report. After mentioning what comments he felt needed to be known, he bid his superiors farewell and departed.

"Hecarim?"

"Yes?"

The warhorse was slowly making his way towards Vilemaw's caverns. Part of him wanted to simply dash to Elise's home to end the little journey as soon as possible, but he felt that his spidery companion wouldn't appreciate the time saved.

"About that officer, Raquel…"

"Raquel? What about her?"

"Do you really...enjoy her presence?"

"Of course! She's the best officer I have. I thought you knew since your spiders see everything that goes on in the Isles."

"Yes, that is true. It's simply…different to see how you interact with her in person."

"Really? I don't think I act any different. Er, wait…"

Hecarim started to feel like he was walking on a minefield. His senses told him that if he didn't say the right thing, an explosive spiderling might suddenly appear beneath his hooves. Seeing as how he had just shined his horseshoes recently, such an occurrence would lead to quite the predicament.

"I…I feel she is a good officer and a loyal soldier. Nothing more…or less."

"Hmm…"

Little did the spectral horseman know, he had nothing to fear. When he was off reorganizing his squabbling men, Elise had taken the moment to chat with Raquel. They hadn't spoken much, but the officer did bring up how Hecarim would occasionally mention her in conversation and that he would do so with great fondness. She also knew perfectly well that Hecarim had a very professional, if not sometimes parental, relationship with those under his command. She had nothing to fear; her companion would always be hers. Looking back once more, she particularly cherished one specific remark the officer had offhandedly mentioned. She smiled serenely at the thought. Looking at her still nervous companion, she decided to stop teasing him and let him relax for the rest of the night. After all, she needed only for him to repeat the words Raquel had told her and she too would be at total peace.

"Hecarim?"

"…Yes?"

"What do you fight for?"

The sudden change in topic didn't seem to faze the warhorse. In fact, he immediately calmed down and spoke confidently.

"For the glory of the Shadow Isles."

"And who do you fight for?"

"…You."

"Oh?"

"And for the king, of course. And the many denizens who call the Isles home. But...if I'm not fighting for you...to protect you, then any war I fight is meaningless."

Elise leaned a shoulder against her companion's back and let out a blissful sigh. So he could remember some things after all.

"Thank you, Hecarim. How strong and brave you are still..."


	7. Dinner Time

"Table for…uh, two?"

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

"Ah, no, of course not! Right this way."

"Thank you. Come along, dear."

"…w-what? The wait's over?"

"Yes, Hecarim, you can wake up now. Let's go before our seats are taken."

The undead warhorse nodded at his companion's suggestion before walking with her towards their table. The waiter who was leading them looked very confused and rather frightened. He had just begun working again after recuperating from a painful accident, and he was wondering if the painkillers he was taking were making him see things. After all, it wasn't very often he had an unearthly beautiful woman and her…centaur asking for a table. Not wanting to get fired and noticing that the woman appeared to be a wealthy noblewoman, he decided to avoid making a scene. He did want that big tip when this was all over.

"Here you are, uh, sir and ma'am."

"Thank you, waiter."

"Hey, why is my seat a little stool?"

"Hecarim, dear, a normal chair won't fit you."

"Ah…I guess so."

Hecarim looked over at the waiter and made a ghastly smile. It took everything in the waiter's power to avoid wetting himself.

"Thank you, little…er—Elise, what did you call him?

"He's a waiter, dear."

"There we go. My thanks, little waiter."

The waiter nodded with a terrified, stretched smile of his own.

"My pleasure. Here are your menus. I will return shortly with some bread."

Once the menus were out his hands, the waiter dashed away, Hecarim nodding approvingly at the employee's speed. The undead centaur then looked behind where the stool that was supposed to be his seat was standing and quickly plopped down his hindquarters. It was surprisingly comfortable, though he felt a little silly. He looked up at Elise to see her reaction, but her face was hidden behind a menu. He didn't know it, but she was smiling and giggling softly to herself at the sight.

The restaurant the two were currently dining in was one of the fanciest, ritziest eating establishments in all of Demacia. Only the wealthiest and most powerful people could dine regularly at the restaurant, and an ordinary man would have to work for months to hope to get a reservation. How Elise managed to get a table less than a few hours ago was beyond Hecarim's imagination. The horse lord voiced his curiosity.

"Let's just say one of the nobles who has influence in this area owes me a few favors. More importantly, I'm surprised you actually knew about this restaurant. Fine dining is not exactly…in line with your interests."

"Yorick mentioned it the last time we talked. When he was doing a concert here, he and the others met a noblewoman who happened to be a musician. She apparently joined the band and treated them to a meal here as thanks."

"Ah, yes, I heard about Pentakill obtaining a fourth member recently."

"Mmm. I'm actually a little surprised no one has panicked over my appearance. I recognize some of the people here."

Hecarim looked around and pointed at a few of the other diners.

"I think that's one of the merchants whose fleet I've raided in the past. And there's the commander of a battalion I trampled into the dirt about a month ago. And that's…"

Elise rested her chin on a folded hand, her eyes wandering around the room while she subconsciously listened to her companion identify the curiously large amount of people present whom he had inflicted tragedies upon. To no surprise, none of Hecarim's "victims" seemed to be personally affected by the horse lord's murderous deeds. After all, what did it matter if soldiers and followers died if you were still powerful or wealthy in the end? The spider woman chuckled at the thought as her gaze shifted towards her companion. LeBlanc's illusory magic had proven to be most useful again. An undead centaur might indeed have raised a great amount of alarm, but a "living" centaur—albeit one with a strange iron mask glowing with blue-green flames—could be seen as an exotic guest. She smiled amusedly as she noted the clothes he was wearing. She had never expected to see him wearing a dinner jacket and waistcoat in this un-lifetime. The black bowtie was an especially adorable touch. Well, as adorable as a bowtie could make an undead warlord look anyway.

"Elise?"

Elise snapped out of her thoughts and looked over at her companion. He gestured towards the waiter who had returned with their complimentary bread.

"Ma'am, have you decided on what you wish to order? Would you like to start with an appetizer?"

"Ah, we'll pass on the appetizer. As for the entrée…I'll have the sautéed leviathan."

"Very good, ma'am. And you, sir?"

"Er, I…don't really ea—"

Elise cleared her throat and tapped her menu with a single finger.

"I'll take the, uh, pastissada."

The waiter stared at the horse lord with a horrified expression before weakly nodding his head in response. He quickly turned his attention back towards Elise. Her expression was smooth and calm, but beneath the surface she had an incredibly strong urge to laugh.

"Uh, I…would you like anything to drink, ma'am…and sir?"

"We'll have two glasses of Demacian Mataró. That will be all."

"As you wish. Please do not hesitate to call me if you require anything else."

"Thank you, waiter."

The waiter quickly left the table with the menus, desperately wishing they didn't call him for anything else. The two dinner guests looked on as the poor young man stumbled in his steps.

"He seems troubled."

"I would be troubled too if I was in his shoes."

"Hmm?"

Elise giggled softly at her companion's confusion. She looked at him and remembered her train of thought from before.

"You certainly look handsome tonight, my dear."

Hecarim looked down sheepishly, a large grin widening on his face.

"Thank you, Elise. I'm surprised the king had an outfit like this. He was gracious enough to give it to me."

"So he was."

The undead centaur looked up at his companion and took note of the spider woman's own appearance. She was beautiful as always, but tonight she seemed to have gone the extra mile to look stunning. The form-fitting red and black dress she was wearing accentuated her hair and eyes in a lovely fashion, and the glow from the candle sitting on the table along with the dim lighting of the room further added to her otherworldly allure. The warhorse paused, wondering what exactly he should say to her. Perhaps something eloquent?

"You look…beautiful."

"Thank you, dear, that was much better. Simple, but meaningful."

Elise smiled gently at the horse lord, a pleased look resting on her face. Hecarim changed his mind. She didn't have to try to look stunning; that was something that came naturally to her.

"You know, Hecarim…"

"Yes?"

The undead centaur picked up a slice of warm bread and brought it close to his face. He wondered how it smelled.

"You surprised me when you asked me to accompany you to dinner tonight."

Hecarim sheepishly looked off to the side and absentmindedly took a bite out of the bread. The chewed morsel fell straight through his disguised body and landed with a soft splat on the floor.

"I must apologize, Elise. Even though I offered the suggestion of eating out, you took the effort to get us a table in this…fancy restaurant."

"No need for apologies, my dear. What's important is that you asked me to join you. Now…why did you ask me to dine with you this night?"

The Spider Queen already knew the reason she was here with the Shadow of War, but she chose to withhold such information in order to make her companion verbally reveal his intentions. She helped herself to a piece of bread and took a small bite, suppressing an urge to make a teasing smirk. The bread smelled of silver and tasted like gold. Her face remained still and elegant, but part of her hoped the main course wasn't also currency flavored.

"I…uh…heard that…"

"Yes?"

"…There's this celebration today."

"And what is this celebration called?"

"I overheard a couple Demacian soldiers talking about it during my last incursion into the mainland. They called today…Heartseeker's Day."

"Tell me, Hecarim, what does one do on Heartseeker's Day?"

"You…uh…"

The undead general mumbled under his breath. His bashfulness was endearing and Elise smiled warmly at the sight. Just one more push…

"I'm sorry, dear, I couldn't quite hear what you said. Could you…"

"You take the person youcareabouthemost and do something special for them!"

Despite Hecarim's attempts to speed over the most important words in that statement, Elise understood exactly what he was saying to her. She felt her heartbeat accelerate and her face became slightly rosy. She reached across the table and held her companion's free hand between hers. Soothingly caressing the large, metal gauntlet with one hand, she lifted the other to beckon the horse lord towards her. As Hecarim leaned in, he felt his embarrassment wash away. He put down the piece of bread he was holding and relaxed as Elise stroked his cheek. He felt her other hand entwine with his, and they soon became still, simply enjoying the candlelit moment. Elise glanced up at Hecarim with gentle eyes.

"Thank you, Hecarim."

The ghostly fire beneath Hecarim's mask softly and joyously flared in response.

* * *

><p>"What is this stew made of anyway?"<p>

Elise looked up at her companion and quietly laughed as he poked at his food. The waiter had eventually returned with their dishes and wine, and after glancing at Hecarim once more with curious revulsion, hastily left. Fortunately for Elise, the leviathan tasted much better than the bread, her mouth savoring actual food and not precious metal in edible form. The Mataró paired well with the dish, and overall she was quite satisfied with her dinner. Unfortunately for Hecarim, he was not quite able to share such sentiments. He tried the wine and attempted to savor the pastissada—the now wet slop resting beneath his body attesting to that—but as always, eating was little more than an exercise in futility for him.

"Do you really want to know?"

"What do you mean? I guess what's in here doesn't make a difference seeing as how I can't taste anything, but I am curious."

Elise laughed again, a bit more loudly this time, and a sly smile formed on her face.

"Hecarim, dear, you're eating horse meat stew."

The warhorse stopped all motion for a second before looking down at his dish. He poked at the portions of meat and stared at the horseflesh. After a few moments, he looked back up at his companion before putting his fork down.

"I…uh, think I'm done."

Elise simply nodded with amusement before finishing her dish. While they waited for the bill to arrive, they chatted on about their friends and subordinates. Elise was in such a good mood that she even kept her disdain in check when Thresh became a topic of discussion. Soon enough, the waiter returned once more with the bill.

"And that's how Karthus blew up his house—oh, here with the bill, little waiter?"

"Uh, yes sir. Here you are, then. By all means, please, take your time."

"Thank you. Now let's see…"

As the waiter swiftly left once again wishing they took as little time as possible, Hecarim produced a pair of reading glasses from his waistcoat pocket and glanced over the check. Elise laughed softly at the amusing sight.

"Hecarim, dear, do you really need glasses to read?"

"Of course not! But apparently, I read in one of those Piltover magazines that it makes me look smarter."

Elise simply chuckled to herself as she imagined the warhorse perusing through the tabloids to find fashion tips. She reached over and plucked the glasses off her companion's face and smirked at him. Hecarim looked at her with shock as if she had stolen his glaive.

"You don't need glasses to appear intelligent, dear. I already know you are the greatest tactician the Shadow Isles has to offer."

Hecarim blushed—well, as much as an undead centaur could blush anyway—and quietly muttered a subdued "thank you" before looking back at the bill. He swiftly raised his head.

"Uh, Elise, does chopping off the waiter's head and running away count as payment?"

"Not in this society, Hecarim. Do you—"

"It's no problem! No problem at all…"

The horse lord muttered to himself about high society rip offs as he produced about a month's worth of wages and loot from his pockets. With great despair, he placed the bills onto the check.

"The things I do for you…"

"What was that, Hecarim?"

"Nothing!"

Knowing full well what he had said, Elise slyly smiled at her companion and patted his hand.

"And that is why I adore you, my dear. There is no one I'd rather be with than you this night."

Hecarim felt his inner flame flicker elatedly at her words, and he turned over his hand to hold hers. They smiled gently at each other.

"Um, sir?"

Hecarim looked over, feeling rather annoyed that the moment was interrupted. Upon seeing the waiter, he calmed himself and handed the poor lad the bill.

"Thank you, sir and ma'am. I, uh…"

The warhorse stared at the waiter confusedly before he felt a slight nudge on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Elise pointing at the bill.

"You forgot the tip, dear."

The waiter visibly brightened at the spider woman's words and Hecarim grumbled to himself as he fished through his pockets for whatever money he had left. He pulled a gold coin with a dark gem embedded in its center out of his pocket and handed it to the young man.

"Here you go. Treasure that coin, little waiter; it's a magical one."

The waiter stared at the coin curiously before shrugging and pocketing it. He was sure he could sell it for a decent price at the market.

"Thank you, sir. Ma'am. Please, enjoy the rest of your night."

The two diners thanked the waiter in turn, and for the last time he dashed away, happy to be free from them. Elise looked at Hecarim, a curious look on her face.

"Hecarim, dear, wasn't that one of the coins Yorick uses for his ferry service?"

"Ah, yes. That coin's magic, alright. If I remember correctly, if a living man has one of Yorick's coins, the ghosts and ghouls wanting to ascend to the next tier of death will haunt him until he is…gone."

"Poor soul."

"Not as poor as me at the moment!"

The two laughed at the undead centaur's terrible humor before standing up to leave. As they exited the restaurant, a gust of chill wind blew past them. Hecarim took a moment to take off his jacket and put it around Elise's shoulders. She wasn't actually cold, but she looked at him appreciatively regardless and grasped one of his hands. Looking at the dark, foreboding sky, an idea suddenly came to Hecarim's mind. He turned to his companion.

"I think Morgana's bakery is still open. Would you care for some desert?"

Elise looked back at the horse lord and took a moment to think. A moonlit ride across Valoran to get something sweet to eat? Her hand squeezed Hecarim's and she smiled brightly at him. Without a doubt, she truly had the best date in all of Runeterra. The cloud overhead began to pass and the moonlight shined on her face. Hecarim paused at the flawless beauty before him.

"That sounds perfect."


End file.
